Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Dear People of the Doctor's Office Waiting Room,

To the Magazine Hoarder: You're not the only one who wants to ogle John Gosslin's latest fling or Kim Kardashian's baby bump. Spread the wealth and leave a couple of outdated, paged-through People's for the rest of us.

To the Teen Texter: It would not bother anyone in the waiting room if you silenced your buttons as you click click click away at a message to your BFF. OMG, do you know how annoying that is?

To the Overly Loud Couple: The doctor's office is an unofficially quiet place - kind of like an elevator. If you must talk, do so a couple octaves lower than your regular volume. In fact, just whisper. No one wants to hear about your plantar's wart or the latest family feud. For real.

To the Receptionist: Your job is to serve the public, and I assume that when you were hired no where in your job description did it say Scowl and communicate only in audible sighs of exasperation as you request copayment. We're not that thrilled about health insurance either, but it'd be a much more pleasurable experience if you plastered a welcoming smile on your face every now and then. Oh, and if you could at least acknowledge me standing there at the window, basically at your mercy since you're responsible for letting the doctor know I'm there, that would be a bonus. Many thanks.

To the Parent of A Toddler: I have a toddler too, so I'm right there with you in how exhausting it is to chase them from one side of the waiting room to the other. However, it is completely unacceptable to just let him run amok, and holler his name loudly across the room hoping that will entice him to return to you. Guess what? It's not. He's two and you're over thirty. Reign him in, preferably with one of those child leashes that masks itself as an animal backpack.

Your's in Friendly Doctor's Office Etiquette,

Babbling Abby

PS. I'm sorry if this is a terribly bitter, complaining type post. It's just, when you wait for the doctor for 45 minutes past your scheduled time and then the appointment takes all of 30 seconds, you're kind of over it. And then they've just given you plenty of time to think all those negative thoughts... But, I do feel better now. Thanks :)

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