Wednesday, December 1, 2010

This, that and thanks.

Hey guys.  Happy December.  I'm so excited about sharing another Christmas with my little man.  Especially since we didn't even think we would get to spend one Christmas with him.  I know this time of the year will only get more and more exciting as Tripp gets older.  Christmas just has a whole new meaning now- not about the presents (though he will be getting enough of those), but about family, friends, and sacrifce.  

Here's a quick little story that I thought was just so amazing.  You know how I said that I've been studying the Bible lately with a close family friend?  Well, the first story that we discussed and read through was the story of Abraham and Issac, and how God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son- and Abraham did exactly what God asked him to do, and Issac's life was spared because God knew Abraham trusted Him.  Remember this story??  Anyway, Patrice (Jonah's Mom) and I finally talked yesterday (we try to have about a 30 minute conversation at least once a month to catch up) and she was telling me about the book she is reading- Satisfy My Thristy Soul, and that this past week in her Bible study, they discussed the story of Abraham and Issac.  Um, neat or what??  Coincidence?  I think not.  God is doing BIG things in us.  I just know it.  For us to be able to even have a conversation on the phone about possibly losing our sons one day... and be able to keep our composure- just shows how much God is in control and is trying to take control of our lives.  I can't speak for Patrice, but this story speaks VOLUMES about my life and the situation that I am in with my only son.  Do I trust in God and place Tripp's life in His hands, knowing that He will carry us through?  That is my only option.  There are no other paths to take.  Will it hurt like hell if I lose my only son who is and always will be my entire LIFE- definitely.  Will I focus on NOW and not the unknown future- yes.  

Today I bought Tripp a mini Christmas tree (2 footer:) and put it right next to the rocking chair, so he could enjoy it.  I picked it up from Wal Mart (which by the way- I remember why I despise Wal Mart, now.  I love you, Target.)  Then came home and fixed it up for him, with rudolph ornaments, lights, and a star on top.  He was sleeping the whole time.  When I finished, I realized I forgot to pick up his prescription from CVS, so I had to go back out.  I begged my mom not to let him wake up before I got back (like she could help it) because I didn't want to miss his expression when he saw it.  I guess my point is- I just can't explain how much I love this kid.  I've spent almost every second with him for the past 18 months of his life... and I just hate to think that I would miss one smile, or miss him doing a new sign, or miss anything new or fun.  I just feel so lucky to be Tripp's Mommy.  You're probably tired of me saying that... but it's just so true.  

This morning he was up at 5:00 am (which NEVER happens).  And he was in rare form- dancing, smiling, and fussing (in a good, rotten kind-of-way).  He was flipping all the way over when I was changing his diaper, which he never does.  Usually, I would put him back in bed and he would go back to sleep... but we stayed up.  And man, I enjoyed that time SO much.  I felt like he was a "normal" kid in that few hours- up early, happy, playing.  Because lately, I've been having to literally drag him out of bed at 2-3 o'clock in the afternoon because all he wants to do is sleep.  I guess he doesn't hurt when he is sleeping.  I feel like he has no quality of life.  And mornings like this morning are few and far between- but boy am I thankful when I do get them.  It makes me take a step back from the step I already took back and be thankful for the GOOD.  Because there is always GOOD no matter what. 

I'm just feeling extra grateful tonight.  There are so many people that have come out of the woodworks- strangers, old friends, close friends- that are contacting me and wanting to help and wanting to spread awareness.  I can't say Thank You enough- and as much as I say it... it will still NEVER be enough.  But I want all of you to know how much I appreciate the support.  I've said it before and I'll say it again and again- We are SO blessed.  I love that Tripp is touching lives and making people think twice before they complain about something petty.  But you all are also changing my life- by showing me that this world is really full of kind, caring, and SINCERE people.  Please- for all those that are saying you want to do something for us--- please know that you are doing more than enough by following our story and by praying for my son.  That's all I can ask for.  Whether you pray for a miracle, or for a specific thing like his eyes, or you pray for him to be pain-free and EB-free... I think prayer is the most important thing.  And I'm pretty sure it's the reason that I'm able to do what I do everyday.  The support is overwhelming (in a good way).  Hope the rest of your week is great!

"Life does not have to be perfect
 to be wonderful." 
 -- Annette Funicello


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