Target Tactics

It's nothing I'm proud of, but there is no better way to ensure a successful trip around Target than to make the $1.59 purchase of popcorn and a medium soda upon arrival. It's the equivalent of cheap babysitting. And don't judge when I tell you it's only 9:36am. Or that Becks is still in his jammies. Or that he is shoeless (it's part of our culture in this state). Actually, he said the shoes were "too tight" and took them off within minutes of being set in in the basket. I pick my battles.

You better believe that medium softdrink is full of a mixture of Diet Coke and Cherry Coke and that I, quite possibly, let Becks have the tiniest, watered-down sip before I disposed of it on our way out. It was really watered-down. Promise.

And when he's sorted and dumped popcorn between containers a dozen times, leaving a pretty convincing trail behind us as we zoom through the aisles, we then move onto the toys where I "shop" for something to occupy him so I can stave off a meltdown make my way around the second half of the store. Removing it from the cart as I pay for my real items can be rather tricky and involves a strategy known as bribery. That is where the watered-down coke comes in.

Also, he is pretty much obsessed with this $130 Buzz Lightyear toy that does a little demo from a plastic cage trying to entice weary parents into the blackhole of overpriced playthings. I just let him press the button a few times and move on before Buzz's lazer eyes hypnotize me into buying him for my son for his birthday. {Stop. The. World. He will be TWO next week. Just passed out.}

This is what a kid looks like after his first taste of caffeinated wonderfulness. Really watery caffeinated wonderfulness.

Anyway.

What are your best-kept-secrets for motoring through a store with a baby, toddler, or small children in tow? Surely you're not as bad a mommy as I am ;)