Knowing

The warm breeze blows
Blonde hair from the little girl beside me tickles my cheek
Bare toes wiggle, glad for the freedom
I think of the first time I ever saw those toes
And how I counted them over and over again

Contented quietness surrounds us
Due in part to the eagerness to consume sweet, milky goodness
Ice cream kisses are given at intervals from the one who can't sit still
Dancing to the tune of the neighbor's guitar
As if this moment had a sound track

Knobbly knees stick out, covered in dirt
(When did all the baby fat disappear?!)
Legs bent in that perfect cross legged way
Her shoulder is pressed against mine
In the most familiar and trusting of gestures

My other inheritance watches intently
Sparkling eyes peeking out over the top of her sunny day treat
Following, internalizing, absorbing
Learning the rhythm and rhyme of relationship
Waiting until it can be tested in her own unique style

Bits of chocolate drop to the deck floor
Only to be snapped up and enjoyed
Five second rules don't exist yet
Because there is nothing to fear
No reason for worry

Cones are tapped together
An exuberant 'Cheers!'
Repeated over and over again
Such is the overflow of the happiness that fills them
Easily found and quickly displayed

Giggles break out when a reflection is spotted
Sticky faces laugh at the sight they find in the basement window
There is joy in what they see
Full acceptance of all that they are
Golden curls and blue-eyed shine

A spider appears
Curiousity rises as heads are dipped down low, searching
In the background, anxiety is kept in check
Ever guarding
Protecting from the incongruency of adulthood

But sit and watch and see
In this peaceful, treasured oasis
All these things are tucked away in a mother's heart
The way they were meant to be
Sacred and secure

Every thing that has been left undone
All the wondering of how it will all work out
Each concern of all that I lack
And the ways that I fail
Disappear

In these slow and precious moments
My life is perfect
And my heart is full
This is my adventure
This is my joy
Knowing
I'm exacly where I'm supposed to be

This Perfect Day

Today was a great day. No, wait...it was a glorious day! It was warm out. Oh so very warm! As in bare legs and feet warm. Or eat ice cream outside warm. Although I try to stay positive through the cold winter months and put on a happy face through the cool, rainy days of spring, the truth is: I LOVE summer! Not surprisingly, so do my kids! What kid doesn't embrace the chance to run wild in big open spaces and blow bubbles and catch bugs and dig in dirt? And so I'm not going to tell you about our rather slow and disappointing week. Nope. That's not how I roll. I'm going to tell you about this one amazing day!

It began with the girls' super awesome Auntie coming by with the best surprise...

An eensy weensy frog!

There was no end to the squeals from all the girlies who surrounded the poor little thing!

After freeing Mr. Frog, we all continued together down the street to the park, but not without some trusty bug hunting equipement!

Doesn't this little huddle just make you smile?! All to see the fabulous find...

A pretty green beetle!

Finally, we made it to the park!

There is nothing quite like a good swing to put a grin on your face!

And make you feel absolutely content! :)

After quiet time, we were back out! As is usually the case, Mama had something up her sleeve...You see, this morning I watched this video and was reminded of the time Teacher Tom tried tall paintings using blocks...

So thats just what we did!

Not quite as lovely as the ones in the video but so fun, just the same! And later we got our fingers in it and spread it all around and made a beautiful mess. Only my camera died. Of course.

Taitum had her own plans. Who needs to do a tall painting when you can smear it everywhere, eat it and rub it in your clothes! I don't think you understand. Watch the video. This is when my battery dies but you'll get to see the master at work! ;)

I'm so glad our week wrapped up with this perfect day. I am so looking forward to more days like it! I'm planning to have a very outdoors-y month next month and really hoping the weather will cooperate! But for now, this will do.

I'm linking up to:

Just call me Ms. Bookworm.

Tripp man is still the Diflucan for yeast, and also now on Clindamycin for his mouth.  Though I just think his mouth is beyond help because it doesn't seem to be working.  Within the past few days, he's had some trouble with his trach.  Not yet sure if it's a sore underneath the trach and a swollen airway again, or if it's just a cold or resp. infection with thick secretions.  But we are back on breathing treatments and back on the high dose of steriods.  He's just a TROOPER.  Plain and simple.  I don't know how else to put it.  It is beyond my understanding how this little boy can endure all that he does.  He's nothing short of a little saint.

So my super fabulous sister bought and mailed me a Kindle (just becuase) this week.  I thought that was pretty darn sweet of her.  Now, if you know me... you know that I have read approximately TWO books in my entire life.  One that I read last week- "Heaven is For Real" and probably another one I've read during high school that I had to read.  That's about it.  I have always hated to read.  But now, You can practically call Ms. Bookworm.  I joked with my mom today about not hearing something she said because I must have been "caught up in my book."  The joke in the house is always that I'm the "less intelligent" of the kids... just because I was always MUCH more interested in my "social life" than school or any type of learning.  So for me to even want to read a book is a big deal... haha.  But I LOVE my new Kindle.  THANKS SIS.  You're the best!  And after reading the book "Heaven is For Real" and the one I'm currently reading "The Boy that went to Heaven," I have A LOT to say.  So watch out faithful blog readers... I am FULL of things to blog about now.  

So first of all, if you haven't read the book "Heaven is For Real," get up, get dressed, go get it at the bookstore or buy it on your Kindle (iBooks, Nook, whatever) and READ IT!!  Oh my goodness, it is amazing... and I can't stop thinking about it.  I don't only love it because I have a special boy who could possibly beat me in seeing Jesus, but because it gave me a whole new perspective of what lies ahead for all of us.  Of course I believed in heaven before... and of course I've "learned in school" and read in the Bible about what heaven might be like.  But to hear what Jesus is like and what heaven is like coming from the mouth of a five year old- puts a whole new perspective on things for me. 

 God knows exactly what our lives are going to entail before we are even born.  I truly believe that.  God knew that we were going to have Tripp and that he was going to have EB.  He also knew that Tripp would touch countless lives of total strangers.  He also knew that we would have the greatest support system that there is.  He knew that placing Tripp into my hands was the right choice, not only because I would devot my life to him, but also that we have parents and family that would devot their lives to him. And not stopping there- we have a whole community who has stepped up and who is showing us nothing but support and love and the true meaning of "doing for others."  God knew ALL of this.  That is exactly what I was missing in my life before Tripp was born- FAITH and TRUST in God.  Yes, I would pray... but I was praying for things beyond my control and praying the totally wrong way.    

Every page in these two books screams at me: "Tripp was chosen." "You were chosen." "Have faith that God knows exactly what he's doing." "And TRUST that miracles DO HAPPEN." And even more now, I know that whatever happens was already in God's Will for us and for Tripp.  He already knows what's  going to happen.  These two books stress the power of support from the community- I think that's another reason I can relate so well.  They talk about the power of prayer and the importance of "prayer in numbers."  I know that Tripp has touched lives across the world and I know that he has people all over the world who are praying for him and following our story.  So we can't give up now.  

As each day in Tripp's life gets a little worse and he wakes up with new sores and new issues... I know that I need to focus on the positive of this whole situation.  But as a mother, that is getting harder and harder as I watch my son slipping further away.  There is no words to explain the feeling of gradually (but quickly) watching your son go blind right before your eyes- and there is nothing you can do about it.  Or witnessing the PAIN he is in when he wakes up in the morning or during a bath.  But I try to keep focus- and what helps me the most is knowing that not only does God know what He's doing with our lives, but He also sent HIS only son to Earth, to be tortured in the worst way possible- crucified on a cross- and to die for OUR sins. And Jesus' Mother watched as her only son suffered tremendously, was ridiculed, and was hung on the cross.  She knew that He would die and I'm almost certain that no matter waht, that wasn't easy for her- but she also knew that He would rise again on the 3rd day and bring salvation to the entire world.  Is that what got her through it?  It was our fault (through Adam and Eve) that the world was condemed.  And God gave us a second chance when he brought his son back to Earth.  When Jesus was hanging on the cross, took his last sip of wine to close the last Passover, and died- and when He did, He reopened the doors of Heaven for us.  And now it's our choice once AGAIN to follow the right path to get there.  And God knows in this world now, it's NOT easy.

I'm certainly not a Holy Roller, but I'm trying to get there.  That's a name that I wouldn't mind having... I just need a little help.  And say what you will... but when you're put in a situation like mine- you have to choose one of two paths: Following and trusting God or turning against Him in anger.  And in my mind, the first choice is the only way to get through in our situation.  All I know is that having Tripp, and him having EB, has totally and completely changed my life (of course).  But in a way that I just can't explain.  I am STARVING to know God and to learn everything that I have been missing in my Catholic faith.  And I am trying to find ways to let go of my anger and resentment toward other issues, but it seems like those issues just keep getting bigger and bigger. It's not an easy road... and it's not easy to find the time to devot myself to something other than Tripp. 

Now don't get me wrong- I have other stressors in my life even besides Tripp that sometimes cause me to fall WAY off the deep end.  And I'm slowly trying to work those things out to where they do not consume me entirely to the point where I lose focus in caring for Tripp.  But my gosh, these issues seem to be getting bigger and bigger by the minute and testing me in every way possible.  ** And just a little side-note to anyone who thinks that they might know ANYTHING about my other situation... I can assure you that you know NOTHING- no matter what anyone is telling you**  I will be more than happy to share the truth with anyone who would like to hear it. I desperately need to hold on to my sanity by doing what's best for Tripp and I.  Something that I should have been doing for a long time. I've been SO selfless in caring for Tripp, that I've forgotten about taking care of myself, too.  And there's a difference in caring for yourself and being "selfish."  Because God knows that being selfish doesn't get us very far in life.

 I'm thankful to have a very successful business man in the community and probably one of the most devout Catholics I know, Mr. Mike Fulmer, helping me better understand my Catholic faith.  He's turned it into something that has meaning... instead of something that was just a "routine" in my life.  He told me something the other day that I really loved.  He said that "as the father of his family, (he) accepts the role of teaching the faith the the people that (he) loves.  The most important thing that (he) will do in his life is to provide them with the information they need to get to heaven." I think this is so important and I think that anyone who is a father, mother, or role model to someone should feel the same in passing on what your loved ones need to find their way to heaven.  Mr. Mike has a teaching online called "The Fouth Cup." I've heard it a couple of times in person (along with many other Bible teachings) and it is just amazing.  It is the explaination of the Eucharist and the Last Supper/Passover.  This teaching has brought many non-Catholics and non-practicing Catholics back into the Catholic church.  If you haven't heard of it or have never seen it, please take a look.  I promise it will change your life (or at least make you think:) You can watch the whole presentation at:

  http://www.the4thcup.com/

And now I shall end with some more very deceiving pictures of my child, who will smile and play for me to snap pictures just so I can have some good ones to post here on the blog,  and then go back to his rocking chair:)

This was a HUGE deal last night when he not only wanted to sit on Papa's lap,

 but he was in the OTHER room!  Go Tripp:)

OH, and Happy Belated Easter to ALL... The Easter Bunny was pretty good to Tripp, though he was no more interested in anything in these baskets as he is the man in the moon.

Love,

Singing Sisters!

My girls love to sing! We spend our days singing and breaking out in spontaneous dance! It makes for a very cheerful day! They get it honest enough - I grew up to my Mom singing as she went about her household duties and more often than not I catch myself doing the same! Its only natural that my girls should pick up this joyful habit!

So here they are, singing their little hearts out!

If you're on my Facebook, you've seen this one before. It makes me laugh every single time I listen to it! The song is one Piper came up with on her own and that is sung pretty much on a daily basis around here!

Taitum, singing her favorite song: "I Love You". She often sings "Old MacDonald", too. Melts my heart every time I hear her sing-songy little voice!

I don't sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing.  ~William James

I Love This Man.

I love this man.

I love long weekends with this man.

Long weekends in which he dotes on me and our girls.

Getting up so I can sleep a little longer.

Coming up with fun adventures that only a Daddy would think of.

Going along with all of Mommy's extravegant Easter plans.

Reminding me that I look absolutely gorgeous to him, even when I have an 'I feel ugly' moment.

Working hard to get the taxes done on his day off so we don't have to pay someone else to do it. (Frugality is attractive.)

Watching girly shows with me because he knows I like his company.

Making secret pizza plans with the girls so I can have one extra 'no cook' night over the holiday.

Listening to my thoughts, engaging in deep, meaningful conversations and giving extremely valuable, wise advice. (We're BFFs, ya know! :D) 

Proving that he literally knows me better than I know myself.

Buying me coffee because he realizes its the little things that make me happy.

Yep, he is my man and I really, truly love him!

 

Easter Outtakes!

We can't manange the snazzy Easter photo ops that I envision.  So, we'll settle for a couple of cute outtakes!

This is the "smile!" face we get these days.  I'll take it.

SophDogg & Aubrea at church

This is our little dapper dude, rocking out the seersucker suit for the second year {though it fits a heckuva lot better than it did last year!}.  I bought it *new with tags* last year at a thrift store, and figured we might as well get some wear out of it :)

 

I kinda looooove the red Chucks!

Can you tell what a stinker he is these days?!  I mean, he would not stand close to us and kept doing these silly little leg moves.  Cooperative?  NO.  Entertaining.  Oh, yes.

Okay.  I kinda looooooove this pic, too!  B and I never take candids like this, and I'm so thankful that Aunt Aubs snapped it!  Totally a framer!

And here's the cousins checking out their loot after egg hunting in Nana and Papa's basement.  Darn you rain.  Also, this was the last time we saw them quiet the entire time we were there!  They're quite the trio!



Any Easter outtakes you want to share?  I'd love to see them!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, y'all!  I hope you had an enjoyable weekend, and made it out to celebrate our Savior's resurrection.  After great worship and sermon, our church ended the service with cardboard testimonies from many members in our church. {Cardboard testimonies are when people write their hardship on one side of a piece of cardboard and then flip it over to reveal how God intervened. So cool!  Google it to see many examples on YouTube.}

There were so many amazing testimonies, and it was so inspiring to see so many respected people publically display their insecurities, trials, inadequacies, and disappointments and then reveal that through their faith they were redeemed through Him.  I. Was. Crying.  Especially when my parents took the stage {my sisters and I had no idea they were doing this}. 

My mom's is the top and my dad's is the bottom.

{Backstory #1: The summer after my sophomore year of college, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was a scary time for us all, but my mom battled it with chemo and radiation, and by the grace of God, came out a survivor.  We have a very strong history of breast cancer in my family on my mom's side - great grandma, great aunt, grandma, and 2 of my mom's sisters.  I told B when we got married not to get too attached, if you know what I mean ;)  But in all seriousness, my mom is about *12 kinds* of amazing and I had no doubt she'd triumph.  Above all, though, it's amazing what He can do.}

{Backstory #2: My dad, a successful VP for a large coorporation, lost his job right before Christmas 2009.  They waited until after the holidays to tell me and my sisters, not wanting to the situation to put a damper on the celebrating.  Though none of us lived at home anymore, we're all very close and felt just awful for both of my parents.  My mom had been a stay-at-home mom for over 20 years, and my dad wasn't near ready to retire.  The insecurity was fear of the unknown was the worst part.  But, fortunately, after months and months of praying for guidance, direction, and a job - stop the world - my dad is now successfully self-employed.  A huge blessing.}

I hope y'all had a great day of rejoicing!  He lives!

Oh Happy Day!

Last night the girls and I made resurrection rolls since I knew we'd have no time for it today. These were so simple to make and turned out perfectly! Here's what we did:

First, they each took turns dipping a marshmallow in butter then rolling it in sugar and cinnamon.

Next, they placed it on a piece of Pilsbury crescent roll dough and wrapped the dough all around.

We popped them in the oven for 15 minutes.

When they were done and cooled off enough, we broke them up and 'ta-da'! They were hollow! The whole time we were making them we talked about what happened to Jesus after He died - did He stay dead? What did the disciples find when they went to His tomb? What does Jesus rising from the dead mean for us? Then when we broke open the hollow resurrection rolls, we cheered - "The tomb is empty! Jesus is alive! Whoo hooo!". This was a 'sweet' object lesson that we will certainly be doing again in years to come! Did any of you try out the Resurrection cookies? How did they turn out?

Sunday morning we did an egg hunt with the kids after they opened their Easter baskets.

They're getting REALLY good at this egg hunting buisness!

Once they were all found, they took turns opening them. I had them all numbered so they would be opened in the right order. These were Resurrection Eggs that I had put together the night before. As each egg was opened we told the part of the story that each item pertained to. Piper listened very intently and loved the surprise of what was inside each egg. The best part though was when she opened the last one and there was nothing in it! She gasped and looked at me like I had made a mistake. Then when I asked her what was in Jesus' tomb when the disciples went to look on Sunday morning, understanding dawned on her - "Nothing, Mama!" That's right, baby girl, Jesus is alive!

(I think it is so important to make sure my kids understand exactly what Easter is all about. That doesn't mean that we can't have fun or eat chocolate. In fact, I think teaching the importance of this holiday should be wrapped in sweet memories and kid oriented activities. This should be an exciting day for us as Christians, full of joy and celebration!)

The greatest day in history, death is beaten
You have rescued me
Sing it out, Jesus is alive
The empty cross, the empty grave
Life eternal, You have won the day
Shout it all, Jesus is alive
He´s alive!!!

Then we got all dressed up and went to church to celebrate! Daddy graciously took a picture of us 3 girls all prettied up but he looked very handsome himself! ;) Just sayin'.

So in case you haven't heard,

Jesus is alive!

Oh happy day!

Pretty Eggs, The Neighborhood Hunt and Swordplay!

We are so thankful for this long weekend. Our family was much in need of some together downtime! So our days have been filled with loads of activities with the 2 little people we love the best! :)

We tried dying Easter eggs naturally! I found instructions at Twig and Toadstool and used beets for pink, red cabbage for blue and turmeric for yellow.

The kids loved getting their hands in the bowls of dye (poor Tait had to be reduced to a spectator because she insisted on drinking the stuff! Bleh!) but I was worried it wasn't going to work. The eggs didn't seem to be changing color even though we held them under the dye for some time.

I did take the advice of leaving them overnight and I'm so thankful I did! We weighted them down with old dish clothes....

And the next morning, we were pleasantly surprised! The blue was fabulous! The pink was a little disappointing since it wasn't as vibrant as I'd hoped but I think it maybe should not have been left in as long. The girls and I made little holders for them and they are now gracing our kitchen table!

Then we were off on our neighborhood Easter egg hunt! It took Taitum a while to catch on but by the end she was picking up eggs left and right!

Piper is a seasoned pro and ended up with quite the bag full of treats!

Oh the bliss!

Life is good!

After a visit with my grandparents, much of the girls time was spent in a newly found favorite pastime...

Daddy bought them styrofoam swords while I was in the grocery store! They spent part of the afternoon outside swordfighting and then went right back at it after supper!

You've met your match, Daddy-o!

Ahoy Me Hearties!

I believe we may have found a new way to settle sibling disputes in our home! Haha! I have to admit, it is terribly fun, playing with swords! And a fantastic way to wear off that sugar induced energy!

Hope you are having a fantastic time making memories with your family!

Enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.