1.2.3.

photo by Renee Walton Photography

I remember sitting on the edge of her sister's bed nights before she was born

Wondering how in the world I'd be able to love the child growing within me as much as the one slumbering before me

It's hard to understand how a love so deep, unfathomable can be multiplied

Truly, it must be experienced

And after a whirlwind labor and delivery 

When they placed her in my arms

Experience it, I did

This squinty eyed, blotchy faced infant starred up at me

Looking like a worn and weary traveller who had reached home at last

And we named her

Bringer of joy

Because we knew she would

And celebration 

Because she was and is

Everyday 

That quirky, brilliant smile

That fills her face and brightens my heart

Those bouncing golden curls

That trail behind her as she swooshes back and forth, around and around

Endless energy and happiness and life

My heart melts when she asks, "Mama, you 'nuggle me?"

Yes, my darling.

The answer is always yes.

Because as quickly as I can count

1. 2. 3.

These moments. These gifts.

They are flying by.

But she has found the most perfect ways to create a pause.

Her silly answer to my question: 

"Tait, why you so cute?"

"Is from my mudder!"

Makes time stand still as we throw our heads back and laugh

Til there are tears in our eyes and an ache in our belly

And then at night as I peak in 

All is slow and still and sweet

Her Eggy rabbit cinched in tight

Thumb in mouth like that first night in the hospital

I drink in the smell of a day's well worn toddler 

I kiss a warm puffy cheek

And I count

1.2.3.

As I close the door on another cherished moment

That I must tuck away 

Deep inside

Happy 3rd birthday, Taitum Jubilee!

Your Mama loves you more than all my kisses or tightest squeezes can explain! 

(You make my heart shine.)

photo by Renee Walton Photography