Everyone Is Either Screaming Or Crying: It Must Be Christmas!

My husband is many things. He is a good man. He works hard. He's very responsible. But he's not exactly the leader of the fun parade (I'm not even sure he is IN the fun parade).

He is very frugal, which automatically takes a lot of "fun" things off the table (helicopter tours of Seattle, owning a pony, spending a week on a dude ranch learning how to be a cowboy, hanging out in a hotel for a week just because I love hotels). He is also a liberal, which takes even MORE fun things off the table (gun fights, sky-diving with George W., growing a chin-strap beard, Nascar, ATV races, and, in fact, anything that uses any environmental resources at all- we have a three sheet of toilet-paper-per-pee bathroom rule.). And, I' conservative. So at least we will always have fun political debates where we call each other names and accuse each other of trying to ruin the country.

So you can just imagine that our holidays are ton of fun.

First step is usually acquiring a Christmas tree. It's usually cold. There's a lot of walking involved. Then there is the (mostly) friendly annual tree debate (fir or noble). And then we are off to `schlep the kids around a gigantic forest full of weird strangers wielding handsaws. This time Jacob wanted nothing but to run and hide in the trees. Ryan hates anything to do with Christmas (lights, Santa, etc) so I can only imagine that his refusal to nap on the car ride over is due to some philosophically opposition to Christmas trees. He cried and begged to be held the entire trip. These things are exactly why doing things "as a family" makes my husband crabby and twitchy. And then there's me: determined that everyone is going to have fun damnit and make some good family memories.

"Look at all these trees!" I exclaimed. "Isn't this fun!?" As I said that, Ryan was clinging to my body screaming his eyes out and my husband was yelling at Jacob to put down the handsaw or else he would single-handedly cancel Christmas for the next five years which set Jacob into a giant tantrum. At that exact moment, a stranger approached. Seeing the camera slung over my arm, he asked if we would like him to snap a family photo.

"No." My husband immediately snapped.
"Yes please!" I returned.
I always win.

My boys, pretending to have fun. Very good fakers.

Also: go Seahwaks!

Jumping.

Quality Control checking to make sure Dad is doing a good job.

Dad needed a little break.

Somehow, we all survived. With a tree in tow. And all children and fingers accounted for.

As the tree was getting set up in it's stand, my next task was to tackle the Christmas lights, for both the house and the tree. When it comes to Christmas lights....well, it never comes to Christmas lights. At least, not so long as my husband is concerned. In the six years we have been married, I've had to do the Christmas lights every year or go without them. This isn't bad, except for one thing: me. I kind of suck. I'm lazy. I take short cuts. I'm much more inclined to throw away a strand of lights than try to find the culprit-burned-out bulb. In fact, I'm SO lazy that this year I finally bought an outlet timer so that I don't have to go outside and walk the two feet necessary to unplug the lights at night (we can't leave them on all night because....see above about my husband being a frugal liberal).

But still....the lights got done. I only got three splinters in my finger and dropped the f-bomb two times.

When I came inside, it was time for the best part- decorating the tree! I clearly instructed Jacob not to put any ornaments on the three until I got the lights and the ribbon on first. I only had to remind him of this one instruction fifteen times, each time I caught him trying to place a rebellious frosted pinecone into the no-trespassing Area 51 of the un-ribboned and un-lighted tree. One lengthy time out later, and I set him loose to decorate to his heart's content. Ryan is still not a fan of the tree. He thinks the lights are "hot" and screamed in response to each of my attempts to get him to put an ornament on the tree.

By the time the tree was decorated, five ornaments had been broken. Good thing 70% of our ornaments are homemade salt dough forged into pathetic renditions of angel, reindeer, and stocking shapes.

As I hung up the stockings and set up the nativities and Christmas candles, the boys tackled the sacred tradition of "Sweep Up All The Rogue Pine Needles." And we embarked on a nearly month-long journey of trying to share our tiny home with a Christmas tree. Even without a giant Christmas tree in the middle of our living room/entrance/dining room, our 950 sq. ft. house with it's four residents and all of their crap greatly resembles a can of sardines. With the Christmas tree, taking up every precious inch of extra floor space, it's.....um....cozy. Cozy is simply code for "it's so crammed in our house, we have to step outside whenever we need to take in a breath." That may be a slight exaggeration. But not by much.

After 70% of the needles (I gave up on the rest) were swept up, we were finally done (except for the five empty rubbermaid buckets marked "X-mas" which will probably litter the house for the next three weeks, instead of finding their rightful place in the creepy basement). I made some hot coa-coa so that we could sit in the living room and enjoy the results of our hard work.

We leaned back, side-by-side, gripping our mugs and staring happily at the glowing tree, which was in steep competition with the glow eminating from my husband's violent computer game just four feet away. We watched the twinkling lights in short-lived peace, which was only occasionally interrupted by the sound of blood and guts splattering the screen nearby. A smile spread across my face as I finally got to enjoy the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of my young boys.

And then Jacob spilled his hot coa-coa in my lap and began to cry. Ryan screamed repeatedly, "Mess! Mess! Mess! Mess!"  My husband looked away from his virtual fist-fight just long enough to yell, "Jacob, clean that up! No more hot chocolate for the rest of your life!"

Ahhhh, the magic of the holidays.

Joining The Ranks Of The Saps: Elf On The Shelf and The Wonder Of Childhood

Short version of long story: I gave in and bought a damn Elf on the Shelf.

When I first heard about Elf on the Shelf, I was adamant that I would never own one. The thing is creepy as hell. And when Elf on the Shelf ideas started to flood my Pinterest page, I only hated it even more. I didn't want to be subjected to millions of photos of creepy smiling elf dolls doing ridiculous things. I swore Elf on the Shelf was a big conspiracy established by toy corporations to drive up holiday sales. And, I must admit, I thought all the parents who were going along on this ridiculous game were just a bunch of saps. Big, old saps.

Then...it happened. My first parental encounter with Keeping Up. Keeping Up is a phenomenon whereby your children, who are otherwise perfectly content and happy to play with cardboard boxes, are suddenly placed in dangerously close contact with a foreign object (usually a toy) and instantly infected by the must-haves. Your child did not even know this thing existed yesterday. And now it consumes his every thought.

I'm not a fan of Keeping Up. I couldn't give a crap that my children don't have the latest in technological toys, the most advanced educational tools, or the latest fashions. I'm proud to buy my sons' pants at Goodwill (and every time a hole magically appears in the knee, I feel righteously vindicated in doing so). Jacob's favorite toy is a $3 used transformer that he stumbled upon at Goodwill. I don't want my children to instantly have everything they ever happen to want. Just because Tommy has it, doesn't mean they need to have it.

I felt that my parental ethics in this regard were strong. That I could withstand hurricanes of 1,000 pathetic whines for days on end without budging.....But I forgot one little thing. When it comes to the task of keeping the wonder of childhood fantasies alive, I'm a big fat dum-dum sucker. I'd go miles in a snowstorm out of my way to keep Christmas magic alive for my children. Because childhood is a self-contained, fragile snow globe landscape perched on a ledge. Childhood is a wondrous land of innocence, naivete, imagination, suspended disbelief. It's a time when the whole world is a play land for discovery. Where evilness is incomprehensible. Where acceptance is unbounded. Where possibilities are free flowing. Adults look at the world and we see flaws. A snapshot of the world through a child's eyes is magnified, beautified, and brightened three-fold. But this world only stays alive so long as it is kept apart, untainted, untouched.

That is why the state of childhood is so fragile. External forces are always at play, trying to shatter this pure snowglobish world. And where these external forces do not succeed, internal ones eventually will. As the child grows and sees more of the world, new forces spring forth. Doubt. Skepticism. Disbelief. Scrutiny. The need for logic at any price. These things will eventually bring the whole globe down, shattered and broken.

The short, rare years of early childhood: I would preserve them for my children at all cost. Even if it means perpetuating a ridiculous ritual.

This week my son was introduced to Elf on the Shelf through his friend. My first reaction was to hold my ground and not give in to this newly fabricated "tradition." But as we drove away from the friend's house, my son recounted for me the tale of the Elf on the Shelf. As he did so, his voice carried the distinct and rare elements of amazement and belief. He told me all about his friend's Elf in the same tone and manner that I would use to tell the first person I saw about an incredible encounter with a purple genie riding a unicorn.

Despite his recountings, I was still unconvinced, until Jacob asked, in a sincere and sweet voice, "Mommy, why did Santa send an elf to Tommy's house and not to my house? Will he send one to me?"

And as much as the good parent in me so desperately wanted to quash any notion in my son's brain that the very fact that his friends have something is a perfectly justifiable reason for him to have one also, I just couldn't come out and say "no." "No, Santa will not send you an elf." I just couldn't do it. Instead, I reveled in the fact that he was so innocent and untainted by the reality of life that he actually had the ability to believe, and with so much passion. I wanted to encourage that. I wanted to keep that little piece of magic alive for him.

I realize that all these lies about Santa and the Easter Bunny and now the damn Elf on the Shelf are probably just contributing to the darkness of reality that a child faces when he leaves his childhood behind. I understand that we as parents may be adding to the harshness of adulthood by manipulating these gullible little minds and allowing them to think grandiose thoughts about reality that, in fact, are not true at all. But, looking back on my own childhood and the grandness of the snow globe world in which I lived, I truly believe that it is all worth it. While Santa and the Easter Bunny and magic may not be real, these happy myths leave little imprints on us that we carry well into adulthood. Even if we stop believing as adults, we hopefully carry with us an important lesson on the power of perspective and how perspective influences happiness.

Most people look fondly and happily on their childhoods. It often seems like childhood is a much simpler and happier time compared to the adult drudgery we live in today. And yet, even though WE have grown, the world is still the same. There is hope that if we can just change our adult perspective, the happiness of our childhood may return, if just in minute amounts. There is ever the possibility that if we can adopt a childlike perspective, the world could be a little brighter for us.

And THIS my friends, right or wrong, is why I gave in to a felt doll with a creepy, painted plastic face.

Elfy's grand entrance.

Holiday Tour of Homes

Linking up with Kelly's Korner Christmas Tour of Homes.  So if you're new to my blog, welcome! 

I love decorating for Christmas and try to bring cheer to my main living areas.  I want my family to come home and just feel warm, cozy and giddy over this magical time of year.  Since I married Tyler, {a real life cowboy y'all!} I embraced the country/cowboy Christmas theme.  Of course I have to class it up a bit so we end up with what I call rustic/glam! Enough talk, come on  in!

I got a new tree after Christmas last year on clearance at Hobby Lobby.  I wanted tall and skinny to fit in our space.  I also didn't want pre-lit because I prefer to use C7 lights.  This is the first year that I also added burlap to our tree.  As we all know, burlap is everywhere and I love the look.  I just tied it in simple bows and added it to my cowboy rope. 

We have tons of ornaments.  I want the entire tree covered!  You can't have too many "memories on branches."  - quote from a Hallmark movie.  Along with decorating my house for Christmas, I'm obsessed with watching corny Hallmark holiday movies during this time of year. 

Our living room has a few touches around the room.

I tried to update our mantel decorations this year.  I added a wreath over my mirror and then painted the Joy sign.

My dining table stays set all through the holidays.  My mom gave us these darling dishes a couple years ago and will always be one of my favorites.  

This is a hutch that's in our dining area.  I just add berries and these cute star lights.  The hutch itself has great significance because it was giving to us in college by my boss – she’s the best and it still reminds me of her.

The little mittens above serve as our advent calendar.  Last year I filled them with candy and small toys.  This year I decided to do something different.  I filled each mitten with a little slip of paper with a written activity like "read a Christmas story", "write a letter to Santa", "build a gingerbread house", etc...  This has been so much fun!

We have two Nativity sets in our home.  The cowboy one is in our dining area and the boy's Nativity is in the living room.  I love them both. 

This little table sits right outside our kitchen.  Versus a tree skirt I opted to place a pair of the little cowboy's old boots under the tree.  This is also where I have started displaying our Christmas cards.  They all make me so happy!

This is the tree that's in Keeler's room.  He wanted to put up our old 8' tree but Tyler convinced him that one his height would be a better choice.  After decorating all day this was music to my ears.  Maybe next year little buddy!  Kallahan also has a tree in his room but the little cowboy was already asleep when I started taking pictures :(

We have a small kitchen so I just added a little cheer around the window sink area.  I painted another sign and made the fabric bunting over the window.

and our tour can't be complete without a picture of my Christmas presents.  Yes, this girl got a new washer/dryer.  Not the most glamorous of gifts but I can't complain. :)

Thanks for stopping by our Christmas home. It's fun to share my decorations and I always enjoy looking at other homes.  There are so many great ideas!  

I wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas!

The Working Mommy's Lament

The moment I get off work, I experience a mini high. Stepping out of the office and breathing the crisp winter air is as good as any drug. But most of all, I am dying to see my kids.

Sometimes it's easy to be away from the boys 8 hours a day. I fill my mind with information, my time with adult-interaction, and occupy myself by thinking through some challenging legal issues. It's rewarding. It keeps my brain sharp. I feel useful.

Sometimes, it's a little bit harder. I sit in my lumpy desk-chair, which over the years has obviously transformed into a chair for the spinally challenged. I click through e-mails. And I let my mind wander. What are my boys doing right now? I bet they are running around the park playing tag. Or perhaps Ryan did something hilarious, causing Jacob (and thus Ryan) to erupt into a fit of giggles. Maybe they are having quiet time, leaning their heads against their grandma and listening intently to a story. Sometimes, I'd give anything to be there. I'd give anything to be the one to take them to the park, laugh at their antics, or read them that story.

Childhood is to be cherished. But it zips by so quickly. Too short. And I cannot be there for a big portion of it. Life is cruel like that.

So, the moment my time in the office is over, I leap out the door, eager to see the boys. I always imagine that I will arrive at my mom's house and my boys will run excitedly towards me, bowling me over with big hugs. I imagine that we will share  some good quality time before dinner and bed. Maybe we will have time to enjoy the last few moments of daylight at the park. Maybe we will lay on the living room rug, in the very heart of our home, and play a game of Uno or dinosaurs. Or maybe we will sit at the table together and finish a holiday craft. These possibilities all rush through my mind on the drive to pick up the kids. I get so excited that I rush through several stale-yellow lights.

But by the time I walk through my mom's door, I'm met with a much different scene. Ryan leaps for me (as anticipated) but he clings to my legs, whining and crying. He is over-tired. He is over-stimulated. Jacob, who is usually a good boy all day, starts to act-out the second he sees me. He crosses his arms, pouts his lips, and gives me the stare-down. He puts his shoes on, only after I beg him to do so ten times. He refuses to use the bathroom. He throws his brother's toys. He stomps his feet. He whines for a snack to take "for the road."

I lug the kids, their car seats, and all their crap to my station wagon (no minor task). Ten minutes into the drive home, things aren't going any better. Ryan is repeatedly asking for his "baba" and crying when I cannot conjure one out of thin air in the middle of Highway 3. Jacob declares that he is STARVING and wants MCDONALDS NOW OR ELSE HE WILL DIE. Why is he not consoled by my reassurances that there is a three-day-old piece of pizza waiting for him in the fridge? Spoiled kid.

My dream reunification has been shattered. Things are going downhill fast. I need to turn this frown-mobile around....quickly, before self-pity (mine) sets in. I turn off my favorite news radio station (I'm addicted) and start to sing Christmas songs. To my amazement, Ryan stops crying. Jacob stops whining. By the second round of Jingle Bells, Jacob is even singing a long. When the song ends, Ryan yells, "More! More!" So, it's on to Frosty the Snowman. Then Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Then Santa Baby. I'm clearly running out of songs.

When we get home, everyone is in a better mood. Except me. I'm exhausted. I haul the kids, their bags, my briefcase, and some groceries into the house. I want to curl up in a ball on the rug and pass out. But....damn it. Kids. Quality time. Etc. Etc.

Jacob = world's biggest ham

So I pull out an old craft project that I had put away for a rainy day. We paint. Drill holes (macho points for me!). And plug in. Jacob is amused. Ryan not so much. He does not like the lights. He says they are "hot" and keeps a three feet distance at all times.

Ryan is too close to the lights. He does not like it.

For some reason, I am the only one who thinks this craft is off-the-charts-amazing. Jacob tolerates it and fakes a smile for the camera.

Christmas trees or Mardi-Gras gnome hats?

I warm up the three-day-old pizza and we have dinner (my husband goes to the gym 2-3 times each week and doesn't get home until 8 pm on those nights, which is why he is glaringly absent from this post). Ryan decides to use a toy wrench as a fork. It makes total sense to him. I love this kid.

When dinner is over, I clean the table, do the dishes that have been piling up in the sink for the past couple days (no dishwasher!), and get the kids in their PJs. By this time, I'm running on fumes. My desire to be horizontal is as strong as my will to get the kids in bed. Or not. I fall onto the living room rug and allow myself a five minute power nap...with both eyes open because Ryan found a pair of scissors and I'm too tired to get up right that minute and take them away. Ryan puts the scissors down, comes over to me, straddles my torso, and sits on my back. He bounces a couple times yelling, "giddyup!" Nap time comes to a screeching halt.

Ryan with his most-prized possession.

Somehow. Someway. I manage to get the kids' teeth brushed. We read a story, I sing the world's shortest lullaby, and I tuck them into bed.

snuggles

As I exit their room and close the door, I have mixed feelings. Half of me is jumping up and down (hypothetically only--remember, I'm exhausted) and thrilled to finally collapse on the couch. The other half of me is reluctant and sad. My nightly 2.5 hours with the kids went by way too quickly. When I wake up, my husband and I will have an hour to hustle them back out the door. Then it's back to work to do it all over again.

The time is just too short. My energy levels are just too low. My plate is just too full. Am I giving them enough? This question will never have a satisfactory answer.

Christmas Cards

I've heard from family and friends that our Christmas card was the first one they received this year.  That was not my goal by any-means but it was just one thing I wanted to get taken care of so I could enjoy the holidays.  I LOVE receiving Christmas cards.  I display them all month long and the little cowboys love to talk about them.  They are starting to come in but I don't feel like I've received nearly as many {so far} this year.  I hope people are just procrastinating and this is not a dying tradition.

Design by Shutterfly.

 

To see our cards from year's past (click here).

How about you, have you received many cards this year?

The Coworker And Reflections On Lawyering

Everyone should have at least one coworker like The Coworker. He says the oddest, most hilariously uncomfortable, and off-the-wall things. Whenever he speaks, I want to both laugh really hard and sink into my seat under the heavy blanket of embarrassment that he SHOULD but is incapable of feeling. Yesterday, he told his legal assistant to clean the sparkles off her desk because that is where he snorts cocaine after work.

Today we exchanged secret Santa gifts. Our boss was The Coworker's secret Santa and gave him a nice pair of slippers. When he opened them he said, "Wow, someone really knows what I like...before bed." The entire office was howling.

This guy is the same guy who offered to marry me and have my babies after I completed a project for him. Writers for The Office couldn't invent a character like him if they tried. Although he would make a perfect accompaniment to Michael Scott.

He's one of the two people in the office that gives me assignments to complete. I often worry that I'm not getting enough exposure by only working closely with two attorneys. I am still just a temporary employee and my guaranteed six months of work is nearing its end. But these two attorneys keep me pretty busy and they are very happy with my work. I decided that it's much easier to convince two people that I am intelligent than it is to convince an entire office. So, I'll just mark that down as a good thing and hope that due to their seniority, they will be able to convince the management to keep me.

The other day, one attorney spent an hour and a half going over a new assignment with me. At the end he said, "Oh never mind, I'll just do it myself. It's too complicated." I'll admit, it WAS complicated. It was an issue involving a tax lien in a bankruptcy proceeding. And what I knew about bankruptcy could be inscribed by pen onto a single acorn. But I was really bummed that I had just invested 1.5 hours listening to a lecture for no good reason and I was kind of looking forward to the challenge. Then, at the very last minute, the attorney changed his mind. Looking very skeptical, he said, "Go ahead and give it a try. After you get a start, I'll help you complete it."

Aside from my litigation assignments, every project I have been given has absolutely terrified me. I have ZERO background knowledge in any of this government stuff. The big projects I have been given so far have involved, taxing districts, federal HIPAA laws, amending ordinances, and advising law enforcement. In car collision litigation, it's a big deal when you make a mistake. Not only do you let your client down, but you can really impact your client's financial situation. However, this is nothing compared to giving advise to a local government. When the government screws up, it's kind of a big deal.

The projects I have been assigned have been equal parts intense and unfamiliar. These assignments cause my mind to seize with fear every time I am left alone to sit at a computer researching obscure areas of law and drafting opinion letters for a client. But the deathly fear is directly proportional to the satisfaction that arises each time the "complex and confusing" become "organized and understood" in my brain. Being a lawyer is essentially just organizing information and concepts into an easy to understand and helpful (for your client) way. And applying the information and concepts to an actual real-life problem that a client is facing and offering helpful suggestions on what to do next is a lawyer's equivalent to winning the Powerball.

So today, I was excitedly nervous as I handed in my assignment, fully completed, to the attorney. I had just been on a self-confidence roller coaster. One moment, I would decide that he was right and the project was way above my level. The next, I would uncover a clue hidden within a federal statute and feel happy little thrills pulsing through my body. I like to call this phenomenon the Legal Researcher's High (and Low). I held my breath for a moment when I handed in my assignment. I was dying to know if I had met or fallen short of the expectations set out for me. The attorney carefully reviewed my memo, expressed a sign of shock, and told me it was excellent. He then instructed me to send it to the client as-is. I walked away calmly, stepped into my office and did a silent yet jubilant fist pump.

Success! As an attorney, you have to take your successes when you can. It is a given that you will mess up sometime. Every time that you don't, needs to be celebrated.

So, as much as I look at each new assignment with utter terror, I am also thrilled beyond measure to have another new area of law to investigate and massage and examine. Law is such a fascinating and expansive subject. You can research every day of your life and still confront new issues and problems. In that regard, being a lawyer is extremely satisfying. Being a lawyer is also as intellectual as academia, except it is extremely practical. It's too bad being a lawyer comes with a host of unpleasant things, like student loans, job insecurity, billable hours, egomaniac personalities, and socially inept colleagues. Aside from all THAT, it is a wonderful, rewarding, and challenging career.

Year In Review: 2013 Family Christmas Letter

This has been an exciting, amazing, and very busy year for the P family! It’s such a blessing to look back and reflect on all the activities of the year. We have tried our best to capture our favorite adventures and stories from 2013 to share with our friends and family.

We are celebrating our seventh year living in downtown Bremerton. We are also celebrating our first year without a drive-by shooting, serial killings, or meth lab. We had awesome weather this summer, which made it unbearable to be in our house. This forced us outside to actually meet our neighbors. Turns out, our neighbors are mostly normal and pleasant, but we still stay away from the apartment complex that lights up like a Christmas tree on the sex-offender map. And thanks to the neighborhood effort to pick up all the used hypodermic needles in the alley, the kids can finally ride their bikes!  

Ryan is now 19 months old. It has been a real treat to watch him grow. In April, we celebrated his first birthday. His favorite part of the party was when the guests left and he had all the empty cardboard boxes to himself. Ryan is talking a lot now. When we go out driving he likes to point out cars, busses, trucks, and homeless people. He still thinks trucks are busses and he still thinks his Grandpa Roger is a homeless person but we are working on it. You know how nutritionists say that it’s healthy to eat a colorful diet? Well, Ryan must have taken this to heart because he ate approximately 50% of a Crayola crayon box (it appears that he prefers primary colors). Ryan has also shown a penchant for mixed media art when earlier this year, he removed his own diaper and finger painted with its contents. We recently discovered that Ryan is suffering from an incurable condition known as "Toddler." The symptoms include going from sickeningly sweet to punch-your-older-brother-in-the-face in less than 60 seconds. We think it’s hereditary and that he gets it from his mom. 

Jacob turned 5 years old in September. We celebrated his birthday in our newly planted backyard with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle themed birthday party. We hired a karate instructor to teach the kids some karate moves. The instructor also brought katanas (swords), nunchucks (nunchucks), a bow (staff), and sais (three-pointed thingys) and demonstrated how to use them. Kids, weapons, and sugar turned out to be a pretty awesome combo. I don’t know about Jacob, but Ryan sure learned a lot of karate (Jacob is still suffering from his nunchuck wounds -- the doctors are hopeful he will be able to see in time for Christmas). This year Jacob has shown us his sassy side. He has threatened to run away from home several times. Unfortunately he has never made good on that promise (Husband says this is another characteristic passed down from Mom). Jacob has really been developing his interests, which as of late, include stuffed animals and art. We think he will combine these two interests and become a taxidermist when he grows up (free living room decor for life!).

Husband has been on tour with his band a lot this year. They play in exotic locations like Lakewood and Silverdale. They play for free now but we have high hopes that someday people will stop mistaking them for musician beggars. Husband completed our backyard remodel project this year. We now have a level back yard, with grass, and a nice, tall cedar fence. It’s pretty. And it keeps our neighbors from looking in our windows, which has helped minimize the surprise visits from the protective services.  

CP started her dream job working as an attorney for the local county. She has already won a trial.....well, a trial membership of “Honest Lawyer” which was cancelled after its first issue due to lack of content. CP is also trying out a new parenting technique called “outsourcing.” It's amazing how much internet surfing you can do when people in foreign countries parent for you. (Mom #5 is on Skype with Jacob as we speak, probably telling him to brush his teeth or grounding him or something). 

Let’s see, some other highlights? Well, June was a pretty exciting month. We earned a 60 cent fuel discount from Safeway and our Subaru hit 250,000 miles. More recently, in October, we learned that children can, in fact, live off of hotdogs and Cheezits for an entire month. Don’t worry, we squirted some Ranch on their plates to make sure they got their daily dose of dairy. And this Christmas we are looking forward to Jacob breaking the Guiness World Record for most consecutive times singing “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” He is also looking forward to singing that song at Aunt Diane’s March wedding (if we can arrange a flash mob with the Muppets (shhhh, don’t tell Aunt Diane, it’s her wedding present from us). 

So, that pretty much wraps up our year. We look forward to keeping in touch with everyone in 2014 (preferably over Facebook so that we can tweet, pin, and text all at the same time). We wish your family lots of love this Christmas season, many blessings throughout the New Year, and a never-ending supply of adventure!

Love,

The P Family