Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Although he is pretty good about giving me an honest report card, it's never easy trying to get any details out of the guy! This is precisely why four year olds are not allowed to testify:
Jake: "Mommy, I had to go to time-out four times today."
Me: "Well, what happened? Why did you have to go to time out?"
Jake: "I had to go to time out the first time because Cousin1 was screaming. Then I had to go another time because Cousin2 took away Cousin1's toys. Then another time, Cousin2 was jumping on the furniture so I had to get in trouble. And...I can't remember the rest."
I would love, just for hilarity's sake, to get all the cousins in a room and take turns cross-examining them. Fingers would be pointing in all directions. Hmmm, it's interesting...the similarity between kids and clients.
Speaking of clients and work, I had an incredibly frustrating day today. I left my house at 11:45 a.m. for a 1:30 hearing in a different city. Although it should have been simple and quick, I didn't pick up the kids until 6:30. Not only did the hearing start late but, even though I was there for a simple "housekeeping" matter, ours was the very last case called. So I sat there for 3 hours and listened to all the other attorneys. What's worse is that I had only eaten one piece of toast and one measley yogurt all day. It's hard to listen to bullsh*t for three hours on an empty stomach!
Listening to other attorneys never ceases to shock me. I can't believe the shit judges have to put up with! I overheard one attorney repeatedly swear and rag on his opposing counsel to his client. Gee, I wonder why people hate attorneys! After one particularly painful hearing, an attorney on the losing side made snarky comments to the judge about how unethical opposing counsel's behavior was (btw, it was so definitely NOT unethical) and then even accused the judge of making a borderline unethical ruling. I don't know what planet THESE people come from, but I pretty much thought it was a universal rule that you do NOT insult the judge?! Right? Am I crazy?!
Then during another hearing, one attorney was very upset things weren't going his way and kept making sarcastic comments, complete with grandious and dramatic hand gestures to portray his exasperation with the court and the other party. He even made the pro-se party on the other side (who declared through sobs that she is undergoing cancer treatment) cry during the hearing! Things were so surreal that I forgot I was watching real court hearings. I'm sure I noticibly gasped and chuckled as if I was in the audience of a Judge Judy taping.
My favorite hearings of the day were the ones involving pro-se parties. One pro-se party asked the court to strike the other side's supporting declaration on the basis that he didn't know the person signing the declaration. To top it off, this guy had the squeakiest shoes on the planet. They didn't make a normal squeaky noise though. They made a mini-whoopie cushion fart noise each time he took a step toward or away from the bench.
After three hours of THAT. My head hurt from all the ridiculousness and my butt hurt from three hours of sitting. And when we finally were called, we discovered that our hearing had to be continued anyway. Geez! At least I learned a lot about how NOT to behave before a judge.
As if I hadn't had enough circus for one day, when I picked up the kids, Jacob was dressed like this:
He refused to take the wig off even for a quick trip to the grocery store, during the middle of which, somewhere between dried cereal and baking supplies, he loudly screamed that he "had to POOP!" When I asked if he could hold it until we paid for groceries, he screamed even louder (to the joy of everyone around us) "NO, THERE IS A HUGE POOP TRYING TO COME OUT OF MY BUTT. I'M POOPING OUT MY CHICKEN AND RICE."
It was lovely.
And Ryan was, as always, such a breeze. He is such an easy and happy baby that he barely makes the blog anymore.
- I am voluntarily trying mussels tomorrow all in the name of my children's education. I'm already gagging at the thought of it.
And I'm starting to breath a sigh of relief regarding my long term laywer career. I'm past that all-so-important three year benchmark of being an attorney. You know, that qualifier on job postings that says "minimum of three years experience required?" Well, I'm finally there! Not that I feel my job is in jeopardy or that I want to change jobs. It's just a big sigh of relief knowing I qualify for whole new set of lawyer jobs in case anything happened.
While I've done a lot of things in the past couple days that have made me feel like a legit lawyer, nothing has made me feel more legit than tonight when I turned off the TV after the kids went to bed, realized there was nothing good on, and instead opted to crank out more billable hours. Watch out world! I'm a wild child!
I often wish I could get a bird's eye view of what other people my age do on a regular basis. I often feel like I'm so out of touch with the regular activities of "normal" people. Do other 28 year old still go out on on a regular basis? Do they have, let's see, what's the word? Oh yeah, dates? (In the past five months, I can recall going on only one date with my husband- we didn't even celebrate our five year anniversary!). Do other 28-year olds go to pubs and happy hours and those unfamiliar things called movie theaters?
Whenever I tell my boss what my weekend plans are (after he asks me if I have any plans), he declares to me that his life was so much different at 28. And by different, I'm assuming he means that he did things that were remotely entertaining and involved some level of fun, irrational behavior. You know, something a little more crazy than throwing all caution to the wind and licking BOTH beaters of cookie dough.
Is it because I am an introvert? Is it because people generally piss me off? I'm too busy? Is it because I don't have quick access to fun places to hang out? Is it because I'm a mom? Or is it a good mix of all of those? Who knows....honestly, I don't really feel compelled to change my activities (although a date would be nice!). I'm fine with staying low key for now.
Now excuse me while I re-organize all the recipes on my Pinterest food board into new categories!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
At the end of last week, a partner asked me to take a look at a motion and prepare a response. It's a motion involving attorney fees. Do you know what that means?! It involves....dun, dun, dun.... MATH! GROSS! Thankfully it also involved a good deal of legal research (my fave) to break up the math-monotony.
I love a lot of things about being a lawyer. But I mostly love the competition and creativity of motion briefing. One thing I have discovered is that there are a lot of lawyers who are lazy writers/legal researchers. It is not very fun to oppose a sloppy motion. When my opponent is crafty and creative and only border-line ethical, that's when the big guns come out.
There is nothing in the world better than pulling apart your opponent's arguments. Then when you find the MONEY case that supports your own argument, it's like pulling a tiny thread and unraveling an entire sweater. Even better than that is when case law on a subject is mixed and the judge could rule either way. The excitement of opening up the court order and reading the ruling while trying not to skip ahead to the outcome is even better than opening gifts on Christmas. Because you know that, if you win, it's the result of your own work, creatively crafted arguments, and excellent use of analogizing cases. It's called a litigator's high. It is better than sex. Yep.
So back to this weekend....I spent over 8 hours researching and writing a 12 page opposition brief. I broke this time out between the two days so that I didn't feel like I was neglecting my children. I wrote the brief at my kitchen table in my yoga pants in between tantrums, time-outs, meals, nap times, and simple cries for attention. It was frustrating to have to stop mid-argument to refill a water bottle or wipe someone's ass, but I managed somehow.
Then Saturday night, I met up with some friends for a night on the town. It was one of my friend's 30th birthday and we had high expectations for the night. I love taking friends from my city to Seattle. I am the honorary Seattle-ite since I work there and I get to show them around town. I also get to feel really important when people ask me simple things like "how do you catch a cab in Seattle," or "where is a good place to eat?" or "Is this neighborhood too sketchy to walk through this time of night?" I love playing tour guide because I love Seattle with a passion and I get to share my love and passion with others (whether they want me to or not!).
We started at one of my favorite bar, Bathtub Gin & Co. It's a tiny little bar and best-kept Seattle secret. The entrance is in an alleyway behind some office buildings. When you walk up to the entrance, an unassuming wooden door between homeless people and dumpsters, you have no idea if you are in the in the right place. One step inside the door and you feel like you've discovered a secret little world. The place is tiny and cramped but the dim lighting, the friendly people, and amazingly long list of cocktails make it the COOLEST place to get drunk in Seattle.
We had a couple drinks, made friends with the bartender and other customers, had some interesting girl talk, then left to grab a bite to eat. We had our sights set on a romantic looking, upscale grill across the street. But as we left the bar at 8:45, one person in our group was already stumble-down drunk. So, we opted for nachos at the fast-food joint Taco Del-Mar where we were the only patrons and could enjoy the spanish game-show television, bright flourescent lights, and cartoon fish character decor all by ourselves.
Luckily everyone sobered up in time for some dancing at a nearby club. Looking for a cool little pub? I'm your girl. Looking for a club? Forget it! But Google did not disppoint and we landed at Trinity Night Club with multiple dance floors and walls that vibrated from the mix of techno and pop songs. We drank, we dance, and OH BOY did we meet some of the creepiest men in the city. I don't remember men being so bold and shameless. I also don't remember men having no qualms about dancing like complete idiots. Men continued to want to girate on us even upon discovering we were married. We all took turns playing body guard though and it worked out pretty well.
At one point during the evening, this man (looking like an ugly Daniel Craig- trust me, it IS possible) bent over at a ninety degree angle, stuck his butt out, and danced with his rear jiggling and jiving up against me. WHAT? Since when do men dance like that? We all laughed at his expense and then quickly ditched him in the crowd.
I also had forgotten about the flocks of men that a group of women can attract. I haven't talked with so many people in my entire life! As much fun as I had, I couldn't help but feel a little detached from it all many times during the evening. I guess I'm just a lame-old mom. By 11:00, my knees were hurting from dancing and I just wanted to sit on my quiet couch and surf Pinterest (I realize how very sad I sound!). I was shocked to see men twice my age with more energy and interest in dancing. Can I blame my lame-ness on being a mom?
We left the club a little after midnight, caught the 12:50 a.m. ferry and that got me home at 2 a.m. It was a very fun night! It wasn't so awesome, however, to be woken up at 6:30 by two hungry, energetic children and then have to spent 4 more hours finishing up my motion. But that is the life of a mommy lawyer!
P.S. Is it sad that the closest thing I could get to a clubbing outfit was an Ann Taylor Loft blouse?
I mean, right?!
Obviously, it didn’t matter that I wanted to have another baby by the time I was 30. Or that I thought that baby would come from my belly. The Lord’s purpose. Now that is a plan right there. And, I can’t sit and call him and be like, Hey, God? So, about that baby… I wish I could :) So, I guess that’s the best adoption update I can give you right now. It’s not about my plan – it’s about His purpose. And, won’t the day that His purpose is made clear for our family be a day?!
We’re just living life around these parts. Trying hard to muddle through January. It’s just one of those months you get through. It’s cold and dreary. You’re combatting the let down from all that holiday momentum. Suddenly you’re like – oh, you mean we don’t have plans EVERY minute of every day OR a fridge stocked full of appetizers and cookies anymore? And the loss of the glow from the Christmas tree. And the soft sound of Christmas music floating through the house. I miss that. Then I try to think of all things shiny and new and I get excited about spring. Which, naturally, leads to thoughts of summer. Ahhhhh, summer.
Wishing my life away. But trying hard not to.
Becks and I have spent our time indoors arts and crafting. Totally up my ally. Leave all that superhero stuff to his daddy because this mama loves to be at a table with all sorts of markers, glue and paper in front of her.
I’m still trying to balance working out and eating. I like to do both, you know.
Though, I’ve done a lot more eating and a lot less working in the past week. I got the FLU. Even after getting the flu mist – which I will never do again. I’ve always had the shot and haven’t had the flu since 7th grade. Henceforth, only shots for me. Flu = 5 days of a miserableness.
So, happy-end-of-weekend. Have a great week!
So Friday night, I sat down to get started only to realize that I had left the outline in my thumb drive at the office. FAIL! I had no choice but to try and recreate it. I had finally gotten started on the substantive stuff when I heard Ryan crying from the bedroom. I swore under my breath, sighed, and went to rock him back to sleep.
When I finally sat down to contine my work ten minutes later, I discovered that the website I use for legal research was not working. At 10:30 p.m. I got on my cell phone and called tech support. I waited on hold for 12 minutes just to be told that there was a systematic glitch and that it would take them a while to fix it. I did as much as I could without the ability to do legal research (which was not very much) then I finally gave in and called it a night.
The kids woke me up at 7:00 the next morning. I got them fed and then focused my attention back on my motion with Dinosaur Train blaring in the background. I got about 30 minutes done before Ryan was whinny and ready for a nap (he usually needs a nap right away when he wakes up too early). I didn't even get started on my motion until 9:30. (P.s. - Lawyers without kids have no idea what kind of advantage they have!)
Needless to say, I didn't get my motion finished. I spent all of my hour-long spin class crafting my arguments in my head. After spin, I did only a little bit more work (while taking care of the kids) before I threw in the towel. Instead of finishing my motion, I headed out on the town for a rare ladies' night. There was a lot of new drinks, dancing, and conversations with strangers. Apparently there was too much of those things because I didn't get home until 2 a.m.! I'm so old. As soon as the clock strikes 11:30, all I want is to be home so I can go to bed.
So yeah, tomorrow is really going to be fun (not).
Friday, January 25, 2013
I am blessed.