Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Turning One {And How She's Changed Me}

Two other little voices joined me in song
All a buzz with excitement 
Movement never ending
While her big, beautiful blue eyes stare
And wondering
What is this?

One whole year 
And I feel much the same, my little Ren
How could you go from this...

To this 
In a mere twelve months?

I should know by now
How fleeting those tiny baby moments are
In a flash they are gone
But your sisters have taught me well, my darling
And I have drunk deep of your newborn scent
I have rocked you longer than necessary
I have found ridiculous joy in rising to nourish you at all hours of the night

In the quiet
Those moments of me and you
It will never come again
But I have learned the error of holding on too tight
Like sand in your hand
If squeezed too tight, it pours out anyway
And you will have missed the joy of feeling it trickle through the fingers of an open palm

I have sought to take in the wonder of each moment
To let it come and go
And to simply thank the God that is good
For snuffy nosed silliness 
And hand phone telephone calls
For clapping happily to every song
And snuggling in to the crook of my neck
For discoveries of sound and voice
And warm, rosy cheeks in the morning.

With you
I have come to terms with the reality that I can't do it all
But I can do something
Each and every day
I can take time to hold you
To roll a ball back and forth
And take turns balancing a toy on our noses
The housework and emails and errands can wait
If only for a minute or two
Because I can't do everything
But I can spend time with you

Thank you, little girl
For slowing your Mama's pace
Reminding me that sweet, simple memories with my babies
Are infinitely more important than a clean toilet
For charming me each and every day
With that grin
And those precious baby rolls
Helping me truly embrace life as Mom

Happy 1st Birthday, Renly!
You are my sunshine!

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