Turning One {And How She's Changed Me}

Two other little voices joined me in song

All a buzz with excitement 

Movement never ending

While her big, beautiful blue eyes stare

Surprised 

And wondering

What is this?

One whole year 

And I feel much the same, my little Ren

How could you go from this...

To this 

In a mere twelve months?

I should know by now

How fleeting those tiny baby moments are

In a flash they are gone

But your sisters have taught me well, my darling

And I have drunk deep of your newborn scent

I have rocked you longer than necessary

I have found ridiculous joy in rising to nourish you at all hours of the night

In the quiet

Those moments of me and you

It will never come again

But I have learned the error of holding on too tight

Like sand in your hand

If squeezed too tight, it pours out anyway

And you will have missed the joy of feeling it trickle through the fingers of an open palm

I have sought to take in the wonder of each moment

To let it come and go

And to simply thank the God that is good

For snuffy nosed silliness 

And hand phone telephone calls

For clapping happily to every song

And snuggling in to the crook of my neck

For discoveries of sound and voice

And warm, rosy cheeks in the morning.

With you

I have come to terms with the reality that I can't do it all

But I can do something

Each and every day

I can take time to hold you

To roll a ball back and forth

And take turns balancing a toy on our noses

The housework and emails and errands can wait

If only for a minute or two

Because I can't do everything

But I can spend time with you

Thank you, little girl

For slowing your Mama's pace

Reminding me that sweet, simple memories with my babies

Are infinitely more important than a clean toilet

For charming me each and every day

With that grin

And those precious baby rolls

Helping me truly embrace life as Mom

Happy 1st Birthday, Renly!

You are my sunshine!