Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Just call me Shredder.

Well, I totally did The Shred tonight. Complete with Rotel cans in hand because you know I don't own a pair of standard weights. I'm sure at some point I did own a pair, like when I went through a phase my sophomore year of college and jumped on The Firm bandwagon along with a couple of sorority sisters. I don't even think I did it for a month before I was merely using the steps as a stool to reach things in my closet. And then I donated the complete set to Goodwill sometime this past summer when I couldn't even sell it in a yard sale.

I'm determined to become shredded or whatever verb you use to infer that you've completed The Shred. Jillian's promise is 30 days, so we'll see if I can make it. The best part is, is that it requires only 20 minutes of your time - which really isn't anything - and doesn't involve expensive fitness equipment. As I said, a pair of Rotel cans or Campbell's soup will do just fine. An old, creeky hardware floor on which to pretend to jumprope is complete optional and not recommended since it could very well awake a sleeping baby.

And I am not even embarrassed to tell you that anything heavier than a pair of Rotel cans would have likely caused my arms to detach from my body. I have zero upper body strength and the amount of shaking that my biceps were doing during the three-minute strength phase was enough to jiggle my old lady arms right off. Not even kidding you. It was embarrassing.

Additionally, because he loves me and thought I needed encouragement through my first session, my dearest B joined me in shredding and together we suffered through 279 push-ups (I'm lying but it felt like 279). Love him.

So, maybe by Christmas I'll have abs like Jillian. Or will at least eliminate some old lady arm jiggle. Or have an excuse for eating an extra serving or two of peppermint chocolate at a Christmas party...

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